so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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