Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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