You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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