I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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