I must be too annoying 4 u.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
