I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Randomize
