and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
