And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Never underestimate the power of titties
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
