I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Randomize
