overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I feel like a drive thru vagina
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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