the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Randomize
