i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
