he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
