I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
