dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
i think i just lost a toe
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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