So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
