i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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