We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
