you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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