Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
