You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
