I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
