D3 body, D1 cock
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
