im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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