I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
