i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
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