I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Randomize
