I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
