I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
