Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
When are your genitals available?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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