Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
