Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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