Me too!
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Pooping to opera.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
