i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
