i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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