i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
