worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
