..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
