Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
