I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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