You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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