So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
