I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
