Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
