Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
