thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
So much rum. So many feels.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
