i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
