OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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