I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
