walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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