Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
