My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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